I am 35 weeks pregnant as of today which means I have about 5 weeks left until baby #2 arrives. That simple fact is a bit terrifying but exciting all at the same time. Since I am hitting the home stretch (even funnier to use this term right now since we’re in the middle of the World Series), I wanted to reflect on my pregnancy so far and how this pregnancy has differed from the first time around. This post will include my reflections on how my pregnancy has fared so far, how it compares to the first time and a full recap on what labor was really like (I jotted it all down in a baby journal three years ago so I wouldn’t ever forget). Full disclosure: if you’re squeamish about talking about that “time of the month” or just don’t want to hear about my past pregnancy compared to this one or would prefer to not think about labor, this post may not be for you. You have been warned as I know some of my readers are male and I wanted to give you a chance to bail. 🙂 Okay…deep breath…reflection time!
LEARNING WHEN TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL
With my first pregnancy I measured four days ahead the entire time so my doctor was convinced I might go into labor slightly early. This made planning a tad difficult since my parents live across the country and my mother and sister were both trying to schedule a trip to coincide with my daughter’s birth so they could be present in the delivery room. Things worked out as my doctor stripped my membranes on my due date in an effort to expedite the process. She told me doing so sometimes caused moms to go into labor as early as the same day if not sometime later that week, and she was right. My sister, mother and I all went to lunch at a restaurant close to my doctor’s office where I ran into a famous Hollywood director…I’ll never forget the day I saw Rob Reiner in person was the day I went into labor. The contractions began around an hour or so after leaving my doctor’s office – while I was sitting next to said director – so all my weeks prior of trying to force the event into action (i.e. sipping on raspberry leaf tea, extra exercise, etc.) didn’t matter – the stripping of the membranes did the trick!
I remember I was slightly nervous my doctor would even be in town as she told me she was going out of town the weekend prior to my due date so she told me to wait ad not go into labor early – eeek!!! At that point she also told me the rules of when to go to the hospital and to not even bother calling her office first – she said when the contractions began (and I’d know once they started) and they lasted only 45 to 60 seconds and came on every three to five minutes in a two hour period, to just check myself into the hospital. For my local hospital to admit you, the patient must already be between three to four centimeters dilated. Any less, and they would just send you home – the only exception being, if your water has already broken as it then becomes a slight health risk to not admit you. I learned this was true the hard way….
HOW LABOR BEGAN – MY FIRST PREGNANCY
My doctor’s appointment was scheduled for around 3pm on the day of my due date. I began tracking my contractions around 5:24pm that same day. I remember at first feeling what felt like a slight cramping that just wouldn’t go away. I laid curled up on my left side, attempting to watch TV to distract me. With Braxton Hicks contractions (the fake contractions that your body experiences in the weeks leading up to giving birth where your stomach momentarily squeezes and hardens and then goes back to normal), they tended to stop once I changed my position but these did not and only came on more frequently. As the time went on I began to feel a dull pain in my lower back and so I started to time the contractions with an app on my phone. I was averaging contractions about 6 minutes apart for between 35-60 seconds each and the pain was gradually increasing. With each build, I would feel a squeezing and a tightening that would come in waves and I recall having to take deep breaths to get me through. Having never been pregnant before, I recall still doubting whether I was in actual labor yet so I just sat still and continued to monitor this activity for about a half hour more before I even thought to call my husband who was still at work. I told him he should maybe leave work early and to start packing the last minute items we wanted to take with us to the hospital – our hospital bag had already been packed for many weeks at this point but we still had last minute items such as phone chargers, a camera, toothbrush, shower sandals, the baby’s new car seat and some essential paperwork like insurance info (to register the new baby) and a to call list of close family that we wanted to take with us.
THE CHECK-IN PROCESS
At exactly two hours from the moment I felt the first contraction, my family drove to the hospital and after filling out some paperwork (one form indemnifying the hospital in case I required emergency medical care and another form with basic info such as my name, number and address), the nurses admitted me. I remember doubling over in pain, leaning against the counter at the Labor & Delivery check-in while the nurses checked to see which room to admit me to as the hospital was a bit packed. While waiting, a girl arrived calm as a cucumber with only a towel held between her legs to indicate that her water had broken. Due to risk of infection, the nurses attended to her first and she calmly walked off with her partner to one of the rooms to await her fate. A few minutes later, my family was ushered into a corner room where I could faintly hear another mom in labor screaming in pain, and I was given a paper robe and told to undress completely. Once changed, I laid on their hospital bed while the nurse placed two belts across my abdomen to measure the contractions and also see the baby’s heartbeat and how she was reacting to the distress of labor. It was at this point that the midwife arrived and probed me to see how dilated I was — I was only 2 centimeters, ugh! So they told me to walk around the labor and delivery floor for a bit and come back after. When I returned about an hour later, I was still only slightly past 2 centimeters so the nurses told me to go home, relax with a bath and maybe drink a glass of wine. I couldn’t believe it – I had declined from alcohol this long and was determined to see it through!
At home I continued the contraction dance – the up and down movement of pain while the pain in my lower back steadily increased, and after about another hour and a half of this, I could take it no more. We returned to the hospital, checked in all over again (including having to sign the same papers once more – such a hassle) and waited for the nurses to find us a room. This room was bigger than our first time around. By the way, we later learned that you are charged an admittance fee for EVERY time you come to the hospital, so even though my previous visit had only been under two hours, it counted and I paid the hospital entrance fee twice. This is why with my second pregnancy I plan to wait out the contractions a little longer before coming into the hospital as I want to make sure to only have to go through this process once!
THE SECOND TIME AROUND – BACK TO THE HOSPITAL
When we checked in the second time at the hospital, it was just after midnight. We waited about 40 minutes for a midwife to arrive and when she did I was thankfully over 3 centimeters. Hallelujah! That meant I could stay this time. An IV was inserted into my right arm (after an unsuccessful attempt by the nurse to insert it into my left arm) and we then waited another 45 minutes for the anesthesiologist to arrive as I told them I wanted an epidural. I don’t do pain very well!
My labor went on for a total of 21 hours. In that time we had 3 nurse shift changes. Our second nurse had a very soft demeanor and was exactly what I needed at that point. While waiting for the epidural she had me lay on my side and gave me back massages to ease the pain in my lower back. (Prior to that my sister had attempted to ease my pain by rolling a tennis ball along my back but that wasn’t as effective as the nurse’s trained, steady hands.) I was allowed to take sips of apple juice along with ice chips. The anesthesiologist then arrived and had everyone leave the room except my husband while he administered both my miracle drug as well as Ptocin to help speed along the contractions. While he was administering the epidural, I felt only a prick and slight increased pressure but the drug began working several minutes later, allowing me to relax. Every 45 minutes after that, the nurses had me change body positions side to side to keep up the movement and encourage the baby to descend lower in my birth canal. It had been about 9 hours of labor – from the moment the contractions first began to the moment I finally received my first epidural – and afterwards I recall still feeling the pressure of the contractions so I could tell when they were occurring, but I no longer felt the associated pain. We watched the heart monitor which showed two lines – one for my own contractions and one line for that of the baby’s heartbeat – and both remained strong throughout.
THE SECRET TO PUSHING
My last nurse, Nurse Irina, had a real no-nonsense attitude about her and had been helping to deliver babies for 18 years. While her rough personality did make me feel incompetent a few times, she also walked me through the delivery process and told me how to push, telling me to be confident before we practiced a few times. When I reached 8 centimeters I was told my water sac was very tight but had still not burst. The midwife came in to burst it manually, making me feel a slight trickle as it ran down my legs. Then Nurse Irina told me how giving birth was like dealing with the worst poop of your life, and how when you have to go our instinct as humans is to grunt and hold your breath while trying to get it out. Here she wanted me to draw a deep breath and let it out while making the push as if I had to let out a very large one. (Sorry for the graphic image but this is how it was described to me and how I finally learned how to give birth) After maybe six or seven more practice pushes, the top of my baby’s head crowned and the nurse called for my doctor to arrive who had still been at her office, dealing with patients and was now caught in traffic. I could feel the pain of contractions starting to return along with the pressure which meant my epidural was wearing out, so the nurses called for the anesthesiologist to return (another 45 minute wait or so) and then I was administered my second dose. While we stalled another hour waiting for my doctor to arrive, the nurse had me continue to do practice pushes, coaching me through it the whole time. She told me, “They call it labor for a reason; this is hard work.” We did about 12 or so more practice pushes before my doctor scrubbed in. Watching my progress she told me the baby’s birth was imminent and after four more big pushes, with the baby’s head easing out further, I was told the next push would be my daughter’s birth. She was right – I felt a slight pulling as my daughter moved the rest of the way out and then there she was!
WHAT I LEARNED THE FIRST PREGNANCY
- PUSHING – was probably the easiest part of my first labor! Yes, it was arduous and difficult as it required strength and breath support, but both baby and I worked together to make it happen and it felt good to finally be doing something. The end result was just amazing and so worth it – as I finally got to meet my daughter who I had bonded with for 10 long months.
- BE PREPARED TO WEAR ADULT PADS – After delivery there is bleeding so anticipate that, especially with it being the heaviest in the first four days or so after labor. You will be given a peri bottle in the hospital to help spritz and keep down there clean as you’re not allowed to wipe with toilet paper right away while your body recovers. The nurses also gave me some Lanolin cream to help ease nipple soreness while both I and baby learned to get more comfortable with breastfeeding.
Hospital supplies provided post-birth: adult diapers, mesh liners and pads
Hospital supplies provided post-birth: adult diapers, mesh liners and pads in addition to a peri bottle and Dermoplast pain relief spray
Hand and body lotion and other toiletries provided by our hospital staff - YOUR PACKED HOSPITAL BAG MAY BE LIGHTLY USED – We barely used anything in our hospital bag simply because our hospital gave us practically everything we would need. I didn’t want to get blood on my clothes so I spent most of the time in the hospital-supplied robe and comfy socks, and used their toiletries and pads as well as plenty of ice packs to ease soreness. What we did use from our own hospital bag was our own soap/shampoo as the hospital simply gave us small bottles of Johnson’s body wash – I decided to save those bottles and use them on our baby later on – as well as our own toothbrushes and toothpaste. I ended up not needing my shower slippers but spent a ton of time in their provided comfy socks to prevent from walking around in my bare feet.
- YOU WILL NEED MEDS – After I returned home I was given extra strength Motrin and Norco (sort of like Vicodin, which I really didn’t use) to help ease the subsequent pain. I was also instructed to walk around as much as possible and keep moving.
- YOU MAY SHED THE BABY WEIGHT PRETTY FAST – Two weeks after delivering my baby, my body had already shed 19 of the 35 pounds I had gained during my first pregnancy. The first 9 pounds were gone within the first few days after giving birth, and I continued to shed about 1-2 pounds per day for the next week. By the third week the weight loss slowed as I was only down 21 pounds and that’s when you have to really start to work to shed those remaining extra pounds – or at least, that was the case for me.
MAJOR DIFFERENCES BETWEEN THE LAST PREGNANCY AND THIS ONE
- THE EXTRA WEIGHT SHOWS EARLY – This time around, I feel like I began showing super early and have definitely gained more than I did the first time around. Everything feels like it comes on quicker and faster. I realized that every pregnancy is different and given this is my second, I have felt a little less anxious and “on top of things” than I did with my first. The first go, I took so many classes and read so many books and websites to really get ahead of my pregnancy – I even took a labor pain class to learn about the effects and advantages of different medications you can safely take while in labor as I wanted to know my options. I took copious notes on everything and still have them to browse should I choose – but honestly I have barely looked at them. I have yet to even pack my diaper bag! I felt like I was pregnant forever with the first but this time, it all sorta feels like a blur perhaps because I have had a young toddler to tend to and keep my mind distracted so I have not been as wholly fixated on this pregnancy as I was with my first.
- BEEN THERE, DONE THAT – Even though it has been three years since baby #1 arrived, my body feels like it has maintained most of the most important memories and so you kinda enter a flow where you feel more at peace with your pregnancy. I have several mom friends who are all pregnant right now (we’re all just several weeks ahead or behind one another which I find so interesting) and they have echoed these same sentiments. It’s a bit of a been there, done that mentality.
FIRST TRIMESTER
In my first trimester of pregnancy #1, I woke up with splotches on my skin, I felt the need to burp a lot and experienced a gagging sensation primarily vs. full on nausea. My breasts became sore and I frequently felt tired, waking up at night with the need to pee. Sometimes when I sneezed that first trimester I even felt a slight dull pain on my left side as my muscles and ligaments began to stretch. This time around, I did not experience the joy of skin blotches until my second trimester, and while I only became nauseous at nighttime around 3am the first pregnancy, I felt nauseous pretty much from week 8 all the way through to my fourth month of pregnancy this time. It was brutal but also my first indication that maybe this time I was having a boy as the first trimester was so drastically different! I was tired a lot, but I didn’t really feel a need to go to the bathroom until my third trimester. Go figure!
SECOND TRIMESTER
In the second trimester of my first pregnancy, I experienced my first of many leg cramps at 6:30 in the morning and it was painful! After that I did stretching exercises every night before I went to bed and put my feet up while sitting down to allow the blood to circulate. This time around, I did not get my first leg cramp (only 2 so far this time, knock on wood) until my third trimester around my 32nd week maybe? I drank a lot of milk to build on the extra calcium and hopefully stave off future episodes which has seemed to help.
Also with the first baby I used to get kicked in the spleen – a lot – starting just after my 24th week of pregnancy. My daughter would sometimes sit on my liver it felt like and make me feel like I had to pee when I didn’t and gave me a few swift kicks to the ribs which were achingly painful. This pregnancy, I don’t know if it is the different temperament of my new baby or simply if he has more room to grow as the first baby already stretched me out, but I have barely felt any pain from kicks or movement. As I get closer to my due date my stomach sometimes performs gymnastics with him bobbing around but the jabs to my ribs are more tame and not as painful. I’ve only jumped in surprise maybe once or twice by the sheer force of movement, though at this point my stomach and extra weight do make me feel very heavy and I am clearly waddling when I walk – something I did NOT do with my first. It’s the heavy feeling that makes these final weeks of pregnancy kinda tough on the body – at least mentally.
THIRD TRIMESTER
Regarding the third trimester, by week 32 of my first pregnancy I started having difficulty sleeping through the night and I would say that feeling has been consistent this time too. The closer I get to my end date the more uncomfortable sleep becomes, despite wrapping my body around a sleep pillow every night. Sleeping on my left side is just not my preferred position and my baby wakes me up many times in the night with major heartburn or I end up feeling hot and uncomfortable or just have the need to kick off the heavy sheets. I also can’t stand for anything to touch my belly button which is once again protruding from my belly and has a darker tint to it than it normally does when I am not pregnant. I’m an innie but with each pregnancy I have seemingly developed an outie.
Week 35 was when I started to feel Braxton Hicks contractions the first go around, and I would say that has held true for both pregnancies (though mine started week 34 this time). While sightly uncomfortable they feel nothing like the real contractions so I know I have more pain to come! In my first pregnancy I didn’t begin to have my feet swell until about 38 weeks but I have already been swelling on and off since week 33 but perhaps that is due to the unusually hot heat wave we have been having these past few weeks (high temps in the 80’s to 100 degrees!).
So there you have it…a full recap of what it was like to be pregnant the first time versus what it is like with your second pregnancy (and I imagine this is the same for the third and so on). I’ll report back once I have my second child to account for any major changes between the hospital process and this time but the biggest takeaway is you never fully feel prepared for any pregnancy and labor but you learn to just go with your gut. That’s what I am following for the next several weeks until baby arrives so wish me luck! Hopefully by my sharing my experience this can help other expectant moms out there wanting to know what to expect. If anyone wants to report on their own pregnancies and how they compare/differ feel free to leave a comment below. Until next time!!!!
playdatesandtravels.wordpress.com 